Our Fears Hold Us Back

Updated: 3 days ago

Today I want to talk to you about FEARS and making decisions.

The reality is, it is very rare to make decisions, especially life changing ones, without having some level of fear.

Have you ever had the feeling of really wanting to do something - but not doing it because you’re scared?

Have you dreamt about all you COULD be, the life you DREAM of - but then your inner-critic tells you “You can’t do that”?

Have you ever said any of these things to yourself?

  • I’m not good enough

  • I don’t deserve this

  • I can’t do that

  • I’m a disappointment

And any other limiting belief you may have or have heard?

Of course you have. You’re human!

There is not a single person in the world who doesn’t and hasn’t had their inner-critic show up at some stage and tell them they’re not good enough… that they can’t do this… that they shouldn’t do that.... And if someone says they never have a doubt show up for them - I call bullshit.

Do you want to know the only difference between you and the people you look up to for inspiration and admire?

  • They saw their fears, did the work and decided to take action anyway.

  • They didn’t let their negative self-talk stop them from achieving what they want.

  • They decided to make change and take action.

So, let’s look at some practical steps when it comes to fear and limiting beliefs.

  1. Write down all of the negative or limiting things you say to yourself along with your fears.

  2. Journal on where these beliefs and fears come from.

  3. Who said this to you?

  4. Were you held to a certain standard by your family and peers, which has formed this belief?

  5. Did you try to avoid conflict, which has made you believe you need to be perfect or your a failure?

  6. Get really inquisitive about WHY you say these things to yourself and WHERE it comes from.

  7. Reframe it.

  8. Write a new belief that you now choose to be your truth.

  9. Make it either positive or neutral (eg. I'm not good enough... reframe: I am worthy OR I am trying my best

  10. Say this reframe to yourself EVERY DAY! Multiple times a day, until that voice of doubt is no longer the loudest voice in your head

  11. Take Action

  12. Take action despite not fully believing in yourself. By making the decision to take action, you’re sending a very clear message that you know you are worthy and no matter how loud your voice of fear is - you’re going to do it anyway!

I’ll walk you through an example of one of my old limiting beliefs. And I say one, because there have been many. There still are.

My biggest limiting belief was that I’m a disappointment.

The fear I associated with that was both the fear of failure and the fear of success - but my fear of success was much stronger. Failure wasn’t an option, but SUCCESS was petrifying.

This belief came from my mum. And definitely not because she told me I was a disappointment, or put me down, or anything like that - quite the opposite actually.

Mum wanted the best for me. She saw my strengths, passion, intelligence and ability. She wanted the best for me.

But as you would know, if you've listened to the first episode of my podcast, I lost myself for quite some time - and whenever I didn’t achieve the results either her or I wanted or expected - I was subconsciously taking on this belief of I’m a disappointment.

The knowledge and deep understanding of where this belief came from didn’t just come to me in one go, it was after many years of soul-searching - so if you have a limiting belief and you don’t know where it comes from - please don’t be hard on yourself for that. Just keep exploring and getting curious.