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Updated: Aug 5, 2019

Is routine controlling your relationship?

Have you hit a bit of a stale spot in your relationship?

Do you feel like your lacking connection and just going through the motions?

We all know the start of any relationship is the easiest and filled with the most excitement. You’re getting to know each other, you’ve got undeniable chemistry, sex is a dominating factor and you’re constantly planning dates and ways to spend time together. After a few months you figure out if it was just a fling or whether it’s going to be a long term relationship. If you’re in it for the long haul, you’ve got to be prepared to put in some work down the track.

I’ve heard years 2, 7, 11 and 20 of a relationship have a higher percentage of breakups than other years. I’m not sure where these stats come from, but I can see the reason behind them and I personally know relationships require work. Work from both parties. When most people hear the word ‘work’ they sigh and roll their eyes, but putting work into a relationship shouldn’t give you this response because it’s something you’re committed to and something that should enhance your life.

SO what ‘work’ am I talking about?

18 months to 2 years into a relationship (depending how quickly your relationship moves), the sexual activity has decreased a little and you have to develop a deeper connection, rather than surface level stuff. You start talking about what your future looks like together, marriage, kids, travel etc. You also have to navigate each other’s habits and ‘pet peeves’.

From here on, especially if you’re living together, it’s very easy to just fall into routine, and I’ve certainly been through this. Wake up, go to work, go to the gym, come home, eat dinner, go to bed and do it all over again. At some stage, we forget to make our relationships a priority, we stop having regular dates and trying new things together because we see each other every day.

So… if you feel like this is your relationship and you’re at a bit of a standstill… Here's 5 tips to help reignite the spark that's still simmering away, just a little less brightly.