Today I want to talk to you about what transformation actually looks like.
The reason I want to talk about this is because so many people want to know what they’re going to look like at the end of working with a coach. How is it going to play out? When will they be upset? When will they never have a problem in the world again?
And any time someone asks me what their transformation and journey is going to look like, my answer is always the same… “I don’t know”.
So now you’re probably thinking - well if you don’t know what my transformation is going to look like why are you creating a podcast episode on it…
Bare with me - I promise there’s a reason and there is valuable info here.
In short - Transformation will look different to everyone!
I can also tell you that transformation is not linear. It’s not like one day you turn the page and you’re on a never ending trajectory upwards that see’s you never ‘feeling’ anything hard again.
You will have moments of bliss and life feeling so easy and abundant and you will also likely have moments that feel hard, stretch and challenging.
Today I want to talk about:
How transformation feels
How you will notice and move through your transformation
What the outcome is of your transformation.
How does it feel?
Easy, Fun, Hard, Stretchy, Glorious, Abundant, Challenging, Fucking hard, Eye opening, Soulful, Dark, Upsetting, Ecstatic, Freeing, Incredible, Beyond this world
That’s right, throughout any transformation it's so common for you to feel the full range of emotions because when we’re moving through this work, you’re unpacking the layers that create you and any time we notice or observe something new about ourselves it’s natural to have mixed feelings about it.
Some layers will make you feel proud and invincible, while others might make you feel shame or guilt.
None of this makes you wrong or makes it not worth it.
Quite the opposite. Leaning in to these feelings, going to the places you’ve been avoiding means that you are in the heart of your transformation and opening yourself up to discovering who you are at your core.
By doing this work you allow yourself to become confident in your thoughts and feelings and start expressing yourself. You remove the want and need to filter yourself or to wear a mask to blend in.
By embracing and exploring all of the emotions that arise during your transformation, it’s almost like you’re creating the ‘whole’ version of yourself. In that I mean, you are embracing your true self and allowing that truest version to show up unapologetically. You let go of external pressure, conditioning, fear and the need to ‘fit in’ - because the transformation is you discovering that you don’t need that to be good enough, smart enough, worthy enough.
You don’t need anything other than to be authentically, unapologetically you!
So if experiencing the full range of emotions, while it might suck sometimes, allows you to embrace who you are wholeheartedly, would it not be worth it?
And I want to highlight that when I say ‘let go’ of external pressures, conditional and patriarchal conditioning, I know that your experience will be different from the next. I know that if you are a woman of colour, your experience and life will have looked very different to mine. I don’t want you to forget what’s happened (because your experiences is what makes you, you) I just want you to live from a place where you know your authentic power and you stand in that every single day!
It often makes me sad to think about how long I denied myself and my emotions because I just wanted to fit in. I didn't believe I was worthy enough, until one day I did.
Let’s talk about that. Let’s talk about how and when you notice your transformation.
Again, I feel you may be disappointed with my answer here, and I don’t mean to make it feel shrouded in mystery, definitely not my intention.
My intention is to keep it real!
So, when do you notice your transformation?
Some people will have huge aha moments, a massive shift in a short period of time and really energetically notice a huge change.
Some people will notice that life just starts to feel easier, have more flow.
Some peoples transformation will go unnoticed until something happens.
Let me give you an example of each...
I once had a client who had a goal of loving herself unconditionally. She had experienced a lot in her life …. Working through prompts - then one session she arrived and was completely different. She had energy and life and felt she had achieved her goals…
This was a huge / quick shift
I had another client who always hid. She didn’t believe she was worthy of pleasure and always felt she needed to be better than others in order to be ‘worthy’. She never spoke up for herself, but over time she started expressing herself, stopped seeing people as competition, focused on herself and her happiness and everything started to feel easier.
It was only when I highlighted this through a series of reflections that she realised what an incredible transformation she had actually undergone. It was subtle - but life felt easier
And the last example, and this was true for me as well during my first and biggest healing transformation. This client had some mental blocks and self doubt issues as a result of someone in her life. There was lots of anger, resentment and other unsupportive emotions felt towards this person. This person was the catalyst for some triggers and the cause of a lot of untrue beliefs. Whenever they needed to interact she would get anxious and felt she needed to be on guard.
Then one day she had a conversation with this person and she felt nothing. There was no anxiety. There was no stress. There was no worry or concern about what they might say. In this moment she realised how far she had come and the truth was that because she had been paying herself attention and focusing on what she needed, the charge she would often get from other people was gone. She had her own back and it didn’t matter what other people were doing.
The beauty of transformation is that you don’t know how it is going to show up for you.
The more you try to control how it looks, the harder it is going to feel and you’re going to challenge and question yourself, but if you trust the process and surrender your want to control what is out of your control, magic will happen.
Ok - so I know you want to know what are the outcomes of your transformation. Again, this will be different for everyone and depending on what type of coach you’re working with, you are obviously going to be focused on something different.
But for my clients - these are the outcomes we see (and I say we because I am just as invested in their transformation and growth as they are - and honestly maybe sometimes I’m more invested):
And maybe one or all of these are what you’d love to achieve
So what might the outcomes be for you?
You love yourself, unconditionally
You are able to set boundaries with ease and feel inspired by them
You discover who you truly are and what makes you happy. Basically you reconnect with your true self by removing the conditioning and experiences that have shaped you into something else
You learn to trust yourself deeply
You put your own needs first and make no apology for it
Your level of self awareness increases and you're able to respond to situations from a place of calm rather than reacting in a way that you don't like
You start to understand your own energy and what your triggers are
You know what you need in any given moment
You remove drama from your life
You call in the best relationships
Ruminating is the thing of the past and you are now grateful for the life you live
You become the most important person in the world (not last on your list)
When you tune in you get a feeling of contentment. Of safety. Groundedness and a real calmness in knowing that you are an incredible person and you can have the life that you dream of.
With all that being said…
ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR OWN TRANSFORMATION???
If you are - then now is the time to say yes to the unknown, yes the the magical journey that is self exploration, yes to the new version of yourself, yes to the dreams that are desperately waiting to be acknowledged, yes to the inner child who just wants to feel free and most importantly YES TO YOU!
It is in this space that you’ll get to explore the depths of your soul, discover pieces you didn’t know existed, play with the ‘what ifs’ and mystery of self belief and discover your truest self.
Currently you can join for Early Bird pricing - but this will finish on the 14th June.
Spots are filling, so if you want to join us, please do so quickly.
And if you’re not quite sure yet - then you can book a free 20 minute call with me where we can just chat. There’s no pressure to join, but I’m here to answer any questions you have and I’ll also be completely honest about whether the program is for you or not. Because the truth is, it isn’t for everyone.
But if you’ve been listening to the last few episodes and you’re like “Is she literally talking to me?” and you want to be a part of it, then I’ve got a beautiful feeling this is exactly where you need to be.