Why you need to do what scares you!
I’m talking about change.
Change is funny isn’t it. I’ve always been open to change when it comes to work, but when it came to my personal life, it was a BIG FAT NO from me!
I would go out of my way to help other people, learn new things and do anything I could to make other people happy. Hello people pleaser extraordinaire.
The honest truth is that I avoided any change in my personal life like the plague. The idea of changing anything about my ‘ways’ was absolutely terrifying. I knew that I wasn’t happy and I knew that something had to change, but how and where do I even start.
I was happy to project my insecurities onto everyone else and take the attention away from me, because what if someone saw the *real* me?!
Unfortunately, I waited too long to change. I avoided my issues until I hit rock bottom.
I thought fulfilling my lifelong dream of being a police officer would fill that void. I would magically be better and all my problems would go away. Haha. 😂😂 That’s funny.
The truth is that being with the police only added to the layers of *things* I needed to deal with. I developed an even tougher exterior and while I thought I knew who I was, I actually had no fucking idea who I was. I’d lost *me* and developed the identity of a police officer. I moulded myself to fit into their stereotype and their expectations.
Which is why, when I left, I was so utterly lost and confused.