You may or may not know but I usually plan out my solo podcast episodes a fair bit and have a loose script, but with this episode - I’m going rogue. I’m just going to share what comes through for me right here and now.
There’s something I’ve been wanting to get off my chest for a while, and I think sometimes I hold myself back from saying this because I don’t want to offend anyone.
And my intention for this is certainly NOT to offend ANYONE - I never want to offend anyone, but I also realise that the fire that is lit in my belly about this may in fact be a bit confronting for some.
So I’ll either gain a heap of listeners or lose a heap of listeners with this one lol.
Alright - let’s dive in.
Today I’m sharing with you 5 reasons why you’re still living the life you don’t want to live - and the life that you don’t love!!
1. You don’t know where you start
There are so many messages out there, so many coaches out there, so much going on on social media and it can be really loud. Even if you're not on social media, the world when it comes to growth, healing and development can be really loud, everyone has an opinion. And everyone's opinion can be really different. So who do you listen to? Who resonates with you? Who do you focus on?
And this all makes it really difficult to know where to start. Some people will tell you to listen to podcasts, or read books, or work with me straight up. And this is where you need to focus on what it is that you want to work through first. Is there a specific incident you want to focus on? On you health? Drinking? Your trauma? People pleasing? And you need to be really discerning about this.
So my advice here; figure out where YOU want to start, not where someone else is telling you to start. You can right out a list and find the part of your growth feels most relevant to you right now and then tune into the ways that YOU believe will help you. This could be reading and researching, or listening to podcasts, or it might be working with a coach, someone that resonates with YOU. Work with the people that you want to learn from.
2. You haven’t found evidence it’s possible
What I mean by this is that no one around you (your friends, family, associates) has done what you want to do.
Maybe you're in a family that live pay check to pay check, things are tight, and you don't want that for yourself. You want the freedom to do what you want in a sense. Have the financial freedom where money isn't a stress, but you don't know anyone who has achieved that, so how is it going to be possible for you?
Similarly, if you want to go on a self-development journey, but your friends aren't into it then you're going to question yourself because you don't have the evidence to show that it's possible. Or maybe you're following people on social media, and they have what you want, but they haven't been through what you've been through.
Without evidence that it is possible for you to achieve what you want you're going to lack the confidence and conviction that you can actually do it. It's human nature. And it's not true. You don't need people around you to show you that its possible, because there are so many people in the world who have done it and have come from where you've been. But we sometimes feel like we need that first hand evidence before we can do it. And it's just not true.
So if you come from that place, you need to start creating and building your own evidence. Start showing yourself that you can do it. Build up your confidence and create the conviction that you can live a life that you actually love, rather than one that makes you feel blergh.
3. You haven’t invested in yourself
I'm not just talking money here. I'm talking money, time, commitment, the mentality. Investment isn't just financial. Yes, sometimes it is essential that you commit financially. But you also need to commit your time, yourself, and your mindset. There are so many things that you need to invest in when you want to make change. And if you aren't investing in all of the areas, you're just not going to see the results.
I totally understand that investing in yourself is so fucking terrifying. From my own experience, I know that it is terrifying. The first time I made a financial investment in myself (and I'm talking thousands of dollars) I thought I was going to throw up. However, since doing that, I would never ever change that. If there's ever anything that I'm going to invest in and spend money on it is me, my happiness and my growth, because that is where change happens.
If you're on the fence about investing of investing money into someone or something and it scares the shit out of you, but you know that you really really really want to do it, do it. You will always make that money back.
If you aren't wholeheartedly investing in yourself, and I mean unshakably investing in yourself where it doesn't matter who says what about it, you are solid in your decisions and your vision, and you are invested in your dreams and living a life you genuinely love, if you're not invested in that...how do you expect the universe to support you?
If you want and expect help, if you want things to show up and work out for you, you need to be invested in yourself. Because the universe is listening. If you're not invested in yourself no-one else is going to be. You need to be the changemaker in your own life.
4. Your fear is stronger than your desire
So you are being ruled and controlled by the fears that run through your mind. And don't get me wrong, everyone has fears. Every time I invest in myself I have fear, what if it doesn't work? Every time I launch a program, I have fears, what if I don't call in the most magical people? But that doesn't stop me doing what I want and my fear is not greater than my desire to create a life that I love.
I don't live a glitzy, glamorous life, but I live a life that I love, and most importantly I love who I am. And the reason that I have that is that I made the decision that I was no longer going to let my fear control me.
Fear can show up in so many ways. Fear of the unknown, fear of change, fear of success / failure, fear of judgement, fear of anything. Whatever your fear is, as long as it rules your life, you will never allow yourself to move beyond your comfort zone. Even when your comfort zone makes you miserable.
If you don't step into the magic that is embracing your fear and doing things that scare the shit out of you, nothing is going to change. You are going to stay where you are because it's comfortable, it's what you know.
It took me 15 years to get out of the misery that was my comfort zone, to get out of the cyclical depression, and the suicidal thoughts that I had. Because my fear of the unknown, of doing things I had never done before was stronger. And it makes me really sad to think about that, because I know how great life can be, but I know how painful it can be when you're in that place, but you can't move away from it because your fear is greater.
It takes courage to flip the script and decide that you want the life you love more than the fear that is there.
5. You haven’t decided
I am really passionate about this one. Maybe you're sitting there thinking, yes Jaci, I have decided. I'm reading the books, listening to people, and I want to change. I really do.
But at soul level, you know that you're taking the easy way out when things get hard. You know that you haven't genuinely committed to showing up for yourself even when things feel hard. You have to decide what you want, YOU, no one else. And the easiest way to get what you want is to make the decision that you are going to do it. To make the decision and commitment that this is what you want and this is how you want to love.
You have your own dreams and desires, and you need to decide that you are going to get it. You need to make that commitment, because until you do that, nothing changes. Until you genuinely decide to show up for yourself nothing changes. Maybe it changes short term, but you will go back there because you haven't committed to yourself.
Our lives are a series of decisions. They're a series of moments in which we choose which path we take.
Throughout my life, in my darkest times and in my most successful and easeful times I have made decisions. My whole framework - the reason I am who I am today is because I made a decision and then took action.
While not every day is perfect, not every day is peachy - and I definitely didn’t feel like taking action every day - once I made the decision to change - I never turned back.
I never gave up on me - and look at where I am today.
I have what I have today - not because it was given to me - but because I made the decision to never give up on me.
SO let’s make these decisions.
I want you to fucking decide what you want and that you are going to stop at nothing to get it. That doesn’t mean sacrificing who you are or anything else - but just decide!
Right - now that you’ve heard the fire in my belly and how passionate about this I am - in case you haven't realised, I want YOU to be happy. I want you to live the life you want to live - I do what I do because I want you to feel genuinely comfortable in your own skin. I want you to put yourself first. I want you to feel how fucking magical life can be…
So - if you want all of this sass, but also all of my heart - because there is such a loving and nurturing side to me - I want to share with you the one way you can work with me and be supported by me and have me in your pocket for the next 6 months.
And that’s through True Self Experience. My 6 month group coaching program to help you shake off self doubt and become the person you were born to be.
I’m currently taking enrolments through the waitlist (in which you save $500) - so if you want to know more, simply head here.