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The biggest Challenge in transformation

Anytime we embark on a transformative journey - of any kind - it’s because we are ready to change, to grow, to expand, and ultimately take a step closer to living out our dreams. Because that’s what a transformation is right - transforming, changing, shifting into a new way of being, a different version of yourself, a change.

With change comes obstacles - I wish I could tell you it’s all smooth sailing - but that would be lying. Sorry.

When I say this, not all obstacles are really hard, or heart-breaking or anything like that - but with change comes challenges.

Today I want to talk to you about one of the biggest obstacles / challenges that my clients face, actually that everyone faces (I’m going to be bold and claim it). I know it’s the biggest challenge I face any time I up-level or move through to a new way of being.

And that is RELEASING!

And maybe you’re wondering what I mean by that.

When I talk about release, I’m talking about

  • Releasing what was

  • releasing old ways of being

  • Releasing things that don’t serve us

  • Releasing the thoughts that have kept us stuck

  • Releasing the baggage and heaviness we carry around

  • Releasing relationships that no longer serve us

  • Releasing stories we have about ourselves, who we are and what is possible for us

Basically I'm talking about LETTING GO!!!

Humans have this really interesting habit that shows up all the time, of trying to control things.

I put my hand up and say I like to be in control and know what’s happening and have things in order etc - and I used to also spend so much energy trying to control things that were out of my control.

And I’m wondering if you’re the same?

Have you ever spent too much time thinking about or questioning someone else’s actions?

Or maybe you want someone to respond to a situation a certain way and if they don’t you can’t let it go.

And here’s the really great one - you want to move on to the next stage of your life but you just can’t let go of your past and try to live the same way - but also a different way at the same time.

THIS is you trying to control what the next phase of your life looks like.

You need to let go!!!

When you’re going through a transformation, there is going to be some time where things feel messy - hence I call it the messy middle.

You’re not where you want to be and you’re not where you once were, and you’re kind of in this place where you have no control over what’s happening and need to surrender to what will be.

In other words, you need to release your control on how your transformation is going to take place and trust that it will unfold exactly as it is meant to.

This is certainly easier said than done.

In the past 2 years I have been through 4 major transformations - and every time there has been moments where I’ve tried to hang on to my past self, or tried to control what the next step looks like.

And every time I get a very not so subtle reminder that I don’t get to control this.

Everything will unfold as it is meant to, when it is meant to.

This is not always an easy pill to swallow. Especially for a recovering perfectionist and people pleaser.

The reason that it can be so hard to release what was is because it means stepping out of your comfort zone and into the unknown. And the unknown can be scary AF!!! It is scary AF - especially if we choose to look at it this way.

There are ways to really play with and enjoy / look forward to the unknown 0 but that’s for another episode.

Anyway, back to releasing.

In everything I do I work through a process, my soul framework.

Release is the second step in this process, but is also something that should continually be done.

I’m going to give you a really quick example of how I would move through this using my framework. And what you’ll notice is this example shows the full range of emotions and all the feelings.

Let’s say I’ve just broken up with my partner because I know the relationship wasn’t going where I wanted to go and wasn’t serving me.

First I need to acknowledge that my relationship has come to an end - and everything that entails. Acknowledging that my future has changed, that there is heartbreak, that I don’t know what the future holds or looks like anymore.

Then I need to release the hold that this relationship has on me. Release my duty to that person, release the fact that my future will now look very different, release any expectations I had on myself and my previous partner. (This is not going to be a quick journaling session) - this will take some time. Probably the longest of each of the stages.

Then I need to take care of myself while I’m navigating all of this. So maybe it’s scheduling some time for me, doing the things that can sooth my heart and ease my pain. Take some time away - what ever it is that I enjoy as self care.

Then I’d look at what mindset shifts need to happen. I am now a single lady and I want to call in and create the most incredible relationship, how do I do this? What are the mindset shifts I need to make - how do I choose to show up.

And while I’m doing this I’m going to really connect with who I am and what I want for my life. TO surrender to what is out of my control and trust that as time passes, my heart will heal and my dream partner will appeal.

To close of my process, I’m going to take empowered action towards my life and what I want. This might be chasing after dreams that I didn’t do while in this relationship, putting myself out there so I can date again, focusing on who I want to be in the future, knowing that this will support me as I move forward.

But through every part of that process, releasing is going to be there.

Through each step and stage there will be things that show up that I need to release, that I need to let go of.

And that can be the most challenging thing to do in any transformation.


So, my invitation to you, if you are ready to truly transform your life, to release and let go an old way of being that doesn’t support you anymore, to open your eyes to your unlimited potential, to truly transform into the person you desire to be -

TSE is my 6 month group coaching program that teaches you my soul framework and how you can use this to self coach and support yourself through any hurdle.

We break down each component and go deeper into those specific areas and how they play out in your life, you get to explore the depths of who you are in a way you haven’t done before and ultimately you create the most fulfilling life - knowing that that will look different for everyone.

You were not put on this earth to fit in with the crowd or be the grey man, and in TSE you take time to truly understand who you are and ultimately discover your true self.

Because I know we all learn differently, I’m bringing in epic guest speakers as well to share their wisdom in certain areas and there are a truck load of other bonuses that you get through this experience.

If you want to find out more,

If you join me before Tuesday 31 May, you will not only get early bird pricing, but you will also get a bonus 30 minute 1:1 coaching call with me, to use whenever you desire throughout our time together - to get support with whatever you need.

Big Love,

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